The Road Trip

This eve's yarn is of a road trip of incomparable enjoyment and climbing pleasure. Indeed, it had everything - Sunshine, Trad, Sport, Bouldering, Indoor Seshes, Midges... It was the shizzle to my nizzle.

Myself, Donald and his dad cruised out to Tollaidh Crags and met up with Murdoch and Megan who were understandably taking it easy after doing 3 routes. Donald led Assault slab, a V Diff, then we walked over to Dinosaur Buttress which provided great enjoyment! I led Scarlatina E2, In the Pink, HVS, and Rouged-up, the E3 variation, (I need the e-points to catch up!!) Donald conquered his first HVS trad lead - a fine effort up the well protected Flushed-out.

Donald departed and Murdoch and I went for a cruise around the area after dropping Megan off. We went round all the top secret crags and bouldering venues* trying to escape to midges and eventually we arrived at a place known to locals as Colin's Bouldering wall at the Mountain Rescue Base... Murdoch, being a member of the mountain rescue team, said we could camp here for the night. We set up camp by carrying through armchairs and putting on some Primal Screen at this amazing, overhanging woody and had a yummy plate of pasta with chopped veg and pasta sauce. A hard boulder sesh ensued and I managed a problem that I set last time I was there involving a clever knee bar and wild campus move! Soon it was time for bed (which was no thermarest, but Jim B's mattress come boulder mat!).

Next day - Ardmair! It was hot. Murdoch cruised up Friends Retrieval, which I thought was excellent E1 climbing, then I climbed Colour Co-ordinated, E1. We were then joined by Rob, A colleague of Murdoch's, with a very dirty mind - shocking. Murdoch is keen to try and tick the crag and he's done most the stuff below E5 so he attempted Thorn in My Side, an E3. After a fluff up on route reading, he was going well until he got to the undercut, top out slab. Complaining that the rock was too hot, his hands were too greasy and the crack too wide for a good jam, the climbing too damn hard, he retreated up an E1 corner chimney, swearing a lot. When he made it to the top, it was my turn to second ("Watch out Rob - this crack is wet" - "In any other situation, that would be a good thing, Mike" - "Eh? how is a wet cra.... oh. Good one, Rob!") Then I got stuck in the chimney ("How the fuck did you get up here Murdoch?" - "Aye, it's a fucking fight! How do you think I felt with a shit load of drag!")

After abbing off we agreed it was far too hot for cragging so we went for a boulder sesh on the beach in hope of catching a sea breeze to keep us cool. On the way, we each bought an ice cream from the campsite - mmmmmm! It was a good sesh - I did a few of the harder problems though there is still stuff to do. Like most boulder seshs, conversation turned to the myth of Si O'Conor. Murdoch was adamant that the man was a legend for stirring up so much shit and getting a lot of people pissed off. He said that Si will always get the last laugh. I was partial to agree with him, though I thought, what does it matter, as the great Dawes said: "people seem away all the time... They should just do their own thing!". I added perhaps a new problem, might have been done before, on an undercut pebbly boulder 15-20m left of the main wall. It starts from a sloper near the lip on the bottom right of the boulder, then you use a left heal hook to gain two slopey pockets and then throw for another sloper come jug. Rob and I worked the problem together and he got it first try after me - good effort!! I gave it V16 originally, though I think V5/font 6C is more accurate. The name Teo Sio is an abbreviation, good luck guessing what it means!

After shredding our tips on the beach, the three of us scrambled along the Rhue coast line, past some amazing jutting prows and roofs. We sat in the evening sun for a bit then, on our way back, we saw Lawrence Hughes and his wife, Liz, on some bouldering on top of the hill so joined them for a while. Lawrence showed us an amazing cave which goes right through the hill side for 30 metres or so, with an excellent on-the-belly top out. He then gave us a quick tour of the problems, saying it was a great place to come after work, especially if you work 5 mins away...

After a well earned fish and chips in Ullapool, Murdoch and I headed back to the base. On the way I asked him how he thought the road trip was going. He said, "Amazing, apart from I haven't done any climbing yet!" We both agreed that when the weather's good, there's no better place than the West, and we certainly weren't jealous of Ben and Nick in Ceuse.

This lack of climbing soon came to an end on day three - Creag Nan Luch! This crag is described in the guide as one of the finest sport crags in Scotland, though I'd only been there once before where I only climbed on the upper tier. Today though, I wanted to get some hard onsighting on the lower tier. We arrived with Megan just as the sun disappeared behind the hillside giving us shade and sending temps, unlike the day before's furness. I warmed up with onsights of Ni Dubh, 6b, psychopomp, 6b, and Toss, 6c+, which was a particularly excellent climb. I then fell off the last move of Unfinished Business, 7a+ (marked as 'project' in the guide), though got it next try and came really close to flashing Shottabeena, 7b+ (7c in the guide, but easier with the discovery of a hidden pocket), falling whilst trying to clip the penultimate draw. A thanks goes to Murdoch for a topnotch belay, taking in a yard of slack as I fell! The rest of the day was spent trying to redpoint Shottabeena though the smoothness and concentration which I had for my flash attempt had disappeared off somewhere, though on my last attempt of the day I was going for the finishing jug when I remembered Murdoch saying "I once fell off the last move on the redpoint" and I thought "Yeah, only an idiot would fall off hereeee - fucckkkkkkkkkk!!!" and was none too happy when I didn't stick the move... Murdoch did well to repeat Shottabeena and came close to repeating Superblue, 7b+. Megan also was climbing well on the 6b's before mentioned, thwarted only by maybe a slight laps in concentration.

We headed to Loch Marie to arse around for a bit and were promptly eaten by swarms of midges.

Next destination on the the road trip was the long anticipated opening of Andy Wilby's garage bouldering wall. Murdoch and I doubted how much pulling we'd be able to muster, having not had much to eat and a hard day climbing, but the sight of the wall and a slice of pizza soon put tired arms and sore skin to the back of our minds. The Wall was christened 'Witness the Fitness' and is a well constructed wall indeed. Soon there were loads of gnarly problems being put up by Rich Betts, Rob, Murdoch, Andy and myself. Andy has no excuses now, unless the dreaded tendonitis kicks in from over use!

Anyway, sorry that there's no pictures, that's all from me now...
Cheerio, Mike



*A top secret guide will be available soon containing all the the secret crags priced at a mere £500. In order to maintain secrecy, it is written in ink which is only visible in light of a full moon reflected off Loch Marie at the Easter equinox. Or so I'm told. Sounds a bit fishy to me really. £500? Who has that kinda money??